Mutatio
by the frowning Chesire Cat
Summary: Harry Potter fan critic gets hit by a car on Halloween. Once a Harry Potter lover, she dressed up as a witch, unwittingly looking like Bellatrix Lestrange . She ends up at Grimmauld Place and decides to change things up. Find Harry Potter, yell at Severus Snape, challenge Dumbledore. Time to have some fun.
1. Chapter 1

"...And Snape walked away, promising himself to never set foot at Privet drive again."

I was so frustrated, that I skipped the authors' note which undoubtedly detailed how much the author was grateful for their fans and reviewers.

Miserably I clicked out of the Fan fiction site and shut down the computer, I had very important job to do - it was Halloween, time to get ready.

As I removed my costume from my wardrobe and laid it on the top of the bed, I cynically reflected on what I had just read.  
Being Harry Potter fan for almost 5 years, I have read hundreds of Severus Snape fanfics, but this one seemed to be the worst.

Character was out of place, illogical behavior...It should have been explained, if author added, that Snape got personality disorder, but as she or he claimed, it was cannonish fanfic.  
C'mon, for god sake. According to different authors, Snape was ugly like hell, depressed, suicidal, bitter idiot who psychologically fixated on wrong women, and by all fans decision, he was still virgin! Pathetic!

I think, I was unlucky or...lucky, anyway I don't know how to describe it.

I started my Harry Potter adventure right from book number seven. So when I moved to book number one, I viewed Harry's adventure from the prism of the Snape's horrified words to Dumbledore - ''You raised him like pig for slaughter''.

This is why, at my age, 15 years old; did not have the privilege of viewing Rowling books through pink glasses.

It was interesting seeing how Snape treated Harry under the pretense of his feelings in the last Rowling book.

My step dad, after watching Harry Potter movies just laughed and said - Pure Politics!  
Tomas, or Tom for short, won a Green Card and moved from Estonia to the US. In the U.S he met my mom. They married and 5 years ago my little brother Stan was born.

Tom is a very down to earth man who works for a local Electrical company, hates politicians and loves conspiracy theories.  
So, for once in my life I agree with Tom, Dumbledore is not evil, he is politician...but I'm not sure what's worse.

As for Voldemort, I think he just plain crazy, so Harry Potter never had a choice in the matter of his future. He's like a complete psychopath. Even if Harry dumped everyone, changed his sex and ran away to Hawaii, Voldemort or Dumbledore would still track him down.

I hit my head in frustration and looked on at my pride and joy – the costume.  
3 years ago, Tomas did some paper work on the house for woman who worked for Warner Brothers, as costume maker. Unfortunately for her - that woman became bankrupt and her house had to be auctioned.

As Tom said, she had whole garage sale on that day, which consisted hundreds of historical costumes, but hardly anyone bought anything.  
I mean, who wants costume of some French peasant from 16 century? Only if you are history teacher, work in the local theater, or own the fancy dress costume party shop.

Not to say, that costumes very badly made - poor stitching work and etc...But this is understandable, who would make proper dress for actor, who will only wear this once?

And of course, the most important, the costumes were not used by actors in the films. They were rejected by some important film person.  
You know? Not the right color, or sleeves to long for the actor, laces are not so lacy and bla, bla, bla...usual stuff. Of course, if they were real deal, the woman could make fortune on this stuff.

Anyway, the poor woman had no money to pay, so she gave him armful of costumes. Mom of course got full of herself and refused to talk with my dad for whole week, but I for once was on cloud nine.

Nearly all of the dresses, to the delight of the head of my school, went into the school theater. But I was allowed to keep one costume. I ended up with my own gothic ''Harry Potter'' witch costume in proper greenish-silver Slytherin colours.

The costume wasn't fake or cheap. The brownish wooly dress with laces, beautiful hand embroidery, and hundreds of tiny shiny metal buttons that looked real deal.  
The dark green robe was nice and long and it felt like real silk. Also it was trimmed with real rabbit fur. I pulled out a slightly crooked black hat from the top shelf. It was made from felt and when I put it on it wasn't flimsy.

The crookedness made the hat seem more authentic. And stripped wooly long socks and real leather Mary Jane shoes with SILVER! decoration. And now, if I didn't know better, I could be an actual witch in the Wizarding World.

I grinned when I realized that there was a fancy replica racing broom also in the wardrobe.

Yes, once I was huge super nerd. But now…not so much. Don't get me wrong, I still like Harry Potter books and films, read fanfics occasionally, but...I think I finally grew up from all of this.  
Stan was 5 years old, when he realized, that Santa Claus is not real. For me, its took the article in the newspaper.

The one and only, greatest author in the world, J.K Rowling is one lucky duck. She's made millions of cash on the Harry Potter saga.

Now that I have grown up I realize that it's stupid to look up into sky for my owl that would carry my invitation to Hogwarts. Now, as the older more mature me, I'm going to write my own story and become filthy rich like JK Rowling.

She could afford all kind of things - recent iPhones, Birkin bags, castles, Ferraris...  
If only I had that kind of money…

But at that exact moment I would buy the most awesome costume. One that would look so real and so authentic. One that would kick the other costumes in the you know what.  
But then again, I thought, the one that I was going to wear wasn't too shabby. Of course my mom and I had to spend hours and hours to make this costume wearable.

As I looked into the mirror I realized I looked great. More than great, I looked awesome.

Unless you looked super close, I looked exactly like the Helena Bonham-Carter. Or the Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black. Bella was a good nickname for me. I was the star of the parties in our local ''Harry Potter'' club, or ''Potter-heads meetings'', as other people called us.  
Even if I am not Potter-head anymore, today, on Halloween 2012, I will be the one and only - Bella the Witch.  
I also had the same birthday as Harry Potter. Who knows, maybe that would make me extra lucky tonight.

I twirled around in front of the mirror admiring the way my robes and dress swirled around my ankles.

"ARE YOU READY YET?!" Yelled my frazzled mother. She had a right to be frazzled.  
She had to get ten kids ready for trick-or-treating. My four aunts had dumped them on us so they could go to a fancy adult costume party.

Actually I had only one brother, so the real problem was my cousins, there was going to be trouble.

I groaned, so not looking forward to this.

My mother decided that I was old enough to shepherd ten kids around the neighborhood in big bulky costumes by myself. My parents were going to a costume party as well, though not the same one as my aunts.

But this is not a reason why I was so miserable. I also had a party to go to, as I had informed my mother 2 weeks ago. Brandon Bates himself, the coolest kid in school, had invited me to his party.

ME! The biggest nerd and Potter-head! To HIS PARTY!

Needless to say I was thrilled! I was finally getting noticed! But when I had excitedly said that to my mum, she had informed me that I had to take my sibling and cousins trick-or-treating instead. Of course I had given her the silent treatment, but so far she hadn't broken.

I whined to myself and grabbed my fake wand. I twirled it experimentally, admiring how comfortable I felt with it in my hand. It was the perfect length; it was a replica from the movies.

I dragged my feet down the stairs and made sure to make my feet slap loudly against the wooden stairs, making it clear that I was not happy about this arrangement. My mother had chosen to avoid my gaze, so I stared at her uncomfortably to further my point.

Wordlessly she pushed open the screen door and pushed my cousin Bonny out. The rest of the children followed hurriedly, excited to start collecting sweets.

I stomped out the door and tried to catch up to the pack of kids.

Then we went to the next house, and the next and the next…and then the next.

At the hour mark I stole an orange sucker from my cousin Bennett. God, I was soooo bored.

I was considering going home early with the herd of children, also known as my cousins and brother, but I decided to wait at least ten more minutes. I knew how much I loved Halloween when I was younger, I should let the little ones have their fun.

Suddenly a sleek black Cadillac drove up on the opposite side of the rode. The window rolled down and _the_ Tiffany Blake poked her head out and looked at me. She was wearing a cutesy cat costume with whiskers painted on her face, with a cat headband holding back stray bits of hair.

How did she look so perfect?

Anyway, Tiffany was about as high up on the popular list as Brandon Bates. They even dated once or twice, but now she had a new boyfriend.

"Hey, why aren't you at Brans party?" She whined, twirling her expertly dyed blonde hair.

I gestured to my family behind me, still slightly bewildered that she was even talking to me. "My mum dumped them on me." I tried to sound as if it was the worst thing in the world.

It must have worked because her sweet face gave me a sympathetic smile. "Oh I'm so sorry." She paused for a second like she was thinking. "Hey, why don't you ditch them? That kid looks old enough to watch everyone." She pointed to my cousin Tyler, who was thirteen.

"I don't know." I glanced back at the herd. Tyler wasn't exactly known for his maturity.

"Aww, c'mon." She said convincingly. But it wasn't enough to sway me, so she pulled out the big guns. "I heard Brandon's interested in you." She tempted.

My eyes widened and my throat went dry. I could feel my cheeks heating up, and although I knew it probably wasn't true, I still wanted to hope.

Hope at a miniscule possibility is better than having none.

I whipped my head around and quickly yelled to Tyler who was coming up behind me. "Tyler do you have your phone?!"

He tilted his head incredulously. "Duh."

"Good, watch the kids. Don't go into people's houses. Get home by ten. Bye!" I walked backwards to Tiffany's car still talking to him, so I didn't notice the bright lights coming my way.

I had just turned my head around again when something big and fast knocked me off my feet. I flew backwards and into the air surprised. I heard the kids I had just turned my back on scream high pitched, adding to the chorus of Tiffany's girlish scream that probably could be used in a horror film.

I flew into the bushes, what the heck just happened?!

Twigs scratched me as I struggled to move, I looked down at my ankle. It was bent the wrong way; I looked the other way trying not to think about that.

Did I just get hit by a car?! In front of my little brother? Not to mention my cousins and Tiffany and any other kid who happened to be walking by.

I sat up suddenly, ignoring the black spots that were clouding my vision. "I'LL SUE YOU, YOU CRAZY-" But I stopped, because the black spots covered my eyes and I felt myself slip away and pass out.

What would you expect if you got hit by a car?


	2. Interrogation

I looked at the ceiling distracted. I was lost in thought and trying, and failing, to get a game plan. I was obviously in some sort of dream world or maybe a coma. Why else would I be in Sirius Blacks room?

I may have lost consciousness a few times I don't really remember. I have no idea how much time past; it could have been a few minutes or a few hours. My mind kept spinning off in different directions.

But something finally distracted me from my wanderings.

The door burst open, actually that isn't the right word for it, it was decimated. A chunk of wood scratched a long red line down my face. I don't know why the door exploded, strangely it didn't bother me. Probably because all this was fake and was just my imagination having a field day.

But then why did it hurt? Why did my whole body ache? Why couldn't I stop the steady tears streaming down my face?

I shook it off and tried to focus on the person who darted inside. Actually two people came in, one shoved a wand in my face and the other one was saying something. I decided I should at least have some fun in this wacked dream so I tuned into what he was saying.

"—did you get in, Bellatrix?! How did you know we were here?!" The man shouted gruffly in my face. Spittle flew from his mouth, I winced. Then with a jolt I realized it was Mad Eye Moody. I scowled up at him. He thought I was Bellatrix Lestrange. Hmmm, time for the fun to begin, after all, none of this was real. It was just my dream world.

"You're Mad Eye Moody!" I accused him playing dumb.

The woman standing next to him chuckled darkly. "What was your first hint?" Then she frowned and looked over me.

"Mad Eye, she's too young," She said whispered.

I also frowned. "You're Nymphadora Tonks!"

She glared. "Come to insult my bloodline?!" She said curious, but also bitingly.

"As if that's the thing that's wrong with your character." I rolled my eyes sarcastically. She looked confused, but didn't drop her wand.

I yawned; I was getting tired of lying on the ground. "Hey, can I leave now; I really don't feel that good?" I asked tiredly.

The looks on their faces were priceless, I giggled girlishly, but immediately stopped, it hurt my ribs terribly. I pulled my arms around them and clutched them trying not to make a sound in front of the aurors. I still had my pride.  
"Mad Eye, she's hurt." I heard Tonks say.

"I see that, let me do my job!" He answered.

"How about you stop talking and fix me!" I said with my teeth clenched.

"Stop distracting us. Does your master know were here?!" He yelled.

"My master? Ohhhh you mean Voldy Moldy Voldemort. I really doubt it." I said finally letting go of my ribs. "Now can you fix me?" I asked impatiently.

"You said his name?" Commented Moody. "Isn't that a violation in your little group?"

"Group? Oh, you mean the Death Eaters. Yes, I'm totally a death eater. I hate Mudbloods and blood traitors." I chuckled.

"She was always a crazy bat." Spat Tonks disgustedly.  
"Yeah, yeah. Bellatrix is crazy, yadda yadda, bla bab. Can you help me now, Nymphy?" I asked whiningly.

Tonks stared at me for a long time. Finally she gave a subtle nod to Moody, he flicked his wand at my face and I found that I couldn't move. I couldn't even yell at my captors. I glared as hard as I could at Moody and Tonks. Tonks laughed while Moody just shook his head.

They each grabbed one of my arms and dragged me up into a position in which they could move me. My whole body screamed with pain, I was now sure that I had a least one broken rib. My leg wasn't feeling to hot either.

"Come on; let's bring her down into the kitchen." Moody commanded. Tonks agreed and started dragging me across the floor to the door. The trip down the hallway wasn't pretty, and by the time we had reached the bottom of the stairs tears streamed down my cheeks in rivers. I read somewhere that you pass out in enough pain; you don't know how hard I was hoping to pass out right then.

I don't know why they couldn't bother to levitate me.

I could tell Tonks had noticed, she wasn't giving me dark looks anymore and wouldn't meet my gaze. I think she was trying to make me more comfortable but it's pretty hard to do that when you're stuck in a crooked standing position.

Finally we had reached the kitchen, and Moody opened the door. Out of the corner of my eye I saw several wands pointed in our direction and then lower when they saw it was Moody. "Thank goodness your back. Was it nothing after all? Oh my—" I heard someone say.

The two aurors hefted me onto the table and stepped back to see everyone's reactions. My ribs ached, and my leg felt like it was being stabbed over and over. My eyes darted around trying to take in everything. I tried to convince myself that this was just my mind trying to make up for all the pain of the car crash. It was NOT real.

I tried to stop the tears, but it was hard. Everyone was looking at me I wanted to tell them to stop looking and get a life, but the stunning charm was still in place.

"Is that Bellatrix Lestrange?" Asked the same person who had greeted Tonks and Moody. Now I could see that it was Molly Weasley.

"Yes." Came a cold hard reply. I couldn't see who it was as I was facing the ceiling.

"There something different about her Sirius." Came Tonks. Oh, it was Sirius Black, perfect. "She seems younger and has multiple injuries. She didn't insult us once, kind of."

"It could be a de-aging potion." Someone contemplated in the background.

"Injuries?" Said another.

"How did she get in?" Asked another.

"Why did she come here?" Asked yet another person I couldn't see. I was getting super frustrated.

"Un-stun her." Sirius commanded in a low voice. Did he have a bone to pick with me or something?

"That isn't wise Sirius." Tonks told cautiously.

"I don't care." Sirius said, and with a flick of his wand I felt myself unfreeze. Something told me it wasn't a good idea to move, but since it was only a dream, I did anyway.

I stretched and smiled at Sirius Black, he did not smile back. "Hello Sirius."

"Bella." He said angrily.

"Hey, what'd I ever do to you?" I retorted.

"Are you serious?!" He growled.

"Nope, you are." I said cheekily and slowly tried to sit up. Bad idea, I thought as I choked back a yell. I swear I felt my ribs grind together; the pain was too much so I lowered myself back to the table again.

"How did you find this place?" Moody shoved Sirius to the side quickly. Sirius looked livid and his wand hand was twitching way too much.

"I didn't exactly find it." I said trying to breathe in a way that inflicted the least pain. I looked at the group crowding around the elegant table; half of them had their wands pointed at me. "You all look so real." I commented.

"How did you find this place?!" Sirius practically yelled at me.

"Cheese Louise, calm down Mr. Grumpy pants." I giggled.

Suddenly something hit me hard in face. My giggles quickly turned into screams. Sirius punched me over and over; blood trickled out of my mouth. My ribs moved and ground together over and over again. I couldn't breathe, only gasp and choke. Jeez, my imagination was vivid.

People soon restrained him, but he had inflicted his damage. He was dragged out of the room kicking and yelling profanity. I curled up into a ball trying to catch my breath. I hid my face in my cloak trying to think of anything, anything but the pulsing pain.

I don't know if you've ever broken a bone before but if you have, try to remember that moment. Now pretend bone was punched several time and moved tremendously. Try not to scream. Just try.

Hands pulled me apart, into bright light. I couldn't stop them, so I screamed and cried and finally blacked out.

When I finally regained consciousness it was very dark and someone was shaking my arm. I realized it wasn't hurting anymore, I was about to sit up, but someone held my shoulders down. I blinked up into the darkness trying to make out the people around me.

I obviously wasn't in the same room I was before, way too dark. Plus I was lying on something comfortable, maybe a bed?

"Do not sit up." Said a cold deep male voice. "That would be very painful for you."

Whoever it was released my shoulders quickly. It strangely reminded me of a bird retracting its talons from its prey. I shivered involuntarily.

"Severus Snape?" I asked, my voice coming out in a croak. I was so thirsty; my lips were cracked and dry.

"Very good, Bellatrix." Came the cool smooth voice.

"Are you going to suck my blood?" I asked trying to bring humor into the situation.

"Are you insinuating that I am a vampire or perhaps a bat?" Snape said his voice sharp and intimidating.

"Yup." I said plainly.

Quick as a snake striking he poked me in the ribs. I flinched, it hurt but not as much as when someone punches you.

"Note to self," I wheezed. "Don't tease Snape."

My eyes had adjusted enough to see his trademark smirk. I looked behind him and saw Moody and Tonks leaning against the wall. I saw another man, but I didn't recognize him.

"Why am I here?" I asked Snape. "And why are we in the dark?"

"We are in the dark to interrogate you." He said slowly. "And I like it."

"Okay, can you fix my ribs? There killing me."

He smirked. "No."

"Pleeeease?"

"Answer some questions and then we'll talk."

"Nah." I said laying back gently trying not to aggravate my ribs any further.

His smirk widened and I got a sinking feeling that that was the wrong thing to say. Very wrong. He stepped forward and reached deeply into his pockets finally producing a small vial.

He stuck it in front of my face and waved it tauntingly. I went cross eyed looking at it. He noticed my anxious face and his smirk turned into a full grin. A creepy grin, a Cheshire cat grin.

I shivered again.

"This is veritaserum," He paused, giving a wicked smile. "You have refused the Order information so I am now allowed to use this." He uncorked the vial. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the three aurors straighten up.

"That's- that's not… you can't…" I stuttered. Veritaserum would cause me to tell all my secrets. I don't know about other people but I didn't want to spill my guts to Snape of all people. I took a deep breath and swallowed.

"The ministry would never allow that." I spoke evenly. I had no idea if it was illegal or not, but maybe Snape wouldn't call my bluff.

"Were not exactly part of the ministry." He smirked and shoved the vial in my mouth. He dumped the whole thing before I could think to close my mouth, but I didn't swallow.  
I probably looked like a chipmunk holding it all in. I suddenly got a great idea, well probably not great idea, but it would be fun.

I breathed in deeply and spit it all at Snape. It came out in a steady spray, classical. When I was done, I risked a look at Snape. He hadn't moved an inch, except for his face. He was glowering at me furiously and his mouth was moving soundlessly in silent curses.

I glanced around him and saw Tonks crumpled on the floor in laughter. There must've been a silencing charm on her because I don't know how she kept quiet. Moody had a huge grin on his face, but the other man, the one I didn't recognize was bent over his hands on his knees, with his shoulders shaking.

I felt my own lips twitching, but one fast look into Snape's eyes told me it wouldn't be wise to even chuckle. Finally he lifted his hand, nice and slow, and wiped the spit and truth serum from his face.

"You…will…regret…that." He breathed heavily. "Unfortunately for you," His lips turned up in a wicked smile, "I have a spare." He pulled another vial from his pocket. I stared at it in horror.

"That's right, be afraid." He uncorked it. Tonks had gotten up now and all three was watching the scene interestedly.  
I eased myself backward until I reached the wall. I clamped my mouth shut and mustered a glare at him. I knew I was outnumbered and with my ribs and ankle broken, I wasn't going anywhere.

But I wouldn't just sit there and submit.

"Don't make me use force." He said uncaringly.

I cracked my mouth open the barest of inches. "Wait, I'll tell you anything."

Snapes smile became wider. "No no, it doesn't work like that." I grasped for anything to delay him. "Why do you have to give me that if I can just tell you?"

"Lying purposes." He said. "You're a Death Eater. They aren't exactly known or there honesty."

"You can't believe that." I said confidently.

"Oh?"

"You just said 'they'. As in, you're not a Death Eater." I said triumphantly. "You would never say that to Bellatrix Lestrange."

He raised his eyebrows. "Or maybe I planned on erasing your memory anyway."

I gulped. "Uh guys?" I looked at Tonks, Moody and random guy. "Help me out here?"

Moody spoke. "Why would we help the most dangerous death eater Britain out? Even if you are not 'her' you still are dangerous. I mean, how did you even get here, for example?"

"We even checked Azkaban. Bellatrix Lestrange is still locked up, whoever you are; you're not registered in the Ministry files. You're not documented anywhere either. We even checked the muggle world. You don't exist." The unknown man said.

"Kinsley's right." Tonks said. So that's who it was, at least I recognized his name. "Sorry girl."

"Whadya you mean, I don't exist?!" I asked outraged.

"Can we PLEASE proceed now?" Snape interrupted tiredly.

"Proceed." Kinsley said.

"Should we stun her?" Tonks asked uneasily, noticing my defiant expression.

"No need." Snape shook his head and jabbed me in the ribs. He quickly put the vile to my lips. I gasped for breath unwittingly sucking in the veritaserum. I coughed and choked fully intending to yell bloody murder at Snape once I got my breath back.

Something came over me then, something weird.

I mean, I could still feel everything else but there was still this sense of perfectness or…completeness…like everything was right. I knew I was still mad at Snape and I knew I was being forced to be told the truth, but somehow I was okay with it.  
I also knew I wouldn't be okay with it when the potion wore off. But for now, I was happy. It finally felt like the dream it should be.

I sighed happily; even my ribs didn't hurt anymore. Well, they did hurt, but I didn't mind too much.  
I leaned back onto the bed and snuggled into the pillows still sighing happily. I heard Tonks smother a giggle.

"Miss Lestrange." I heard Snape say.

I pulled my head up from the pillows and looked dreamily into the beautiful scowling face of Severus Tobias Snape.

"Hmmm?" I sighed. I liked the way 'Miss Lestrange' sounded. Even though I wasn't really her, I liked how it sounded all the same.

"Do you know who I am?"

Duh. "Severus Snape." That was obvious.

"How did you find Number 12 Grimmuald place?"

I was going to ignore him childishly but words forced themselves from my mouth, "I don't know. I was hit by a car and I woke up here."

The dopey grin slid from my face in an instant. "What the heck, man?!" I asked outraged.

He naturally ignored me. "Why are you not in Azkaban?

I tried to say silent but I couldn't stop the words from coming. "I've never committed a crime, I haven't been to Azkaban."

"What?" Snape said. "Who are you?"

"Dude, stop!" I whined at Snape, but once again I was forced into saying the truth. "I'm not Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Who are you?" He asked again more forcefully.  
I could feel the serum trying to work, but nothing would come out of my mouth. It's like I was physically unable to. I tried to say my name with my free will, but nothing would come out. It was like something was blocking my throat.

"I said, WHO ARE YOU?" Snape repeated.  
I opened my mouth but nothing came out again. I tried and tried but my face was turning purple and I started coughing uncontrollably.

"Why isn't she saying anything?" Tonks said curiously.

"Is she fighting it?" Kingsley asked, coming closer.

"Do you know Occlumacy?" Snape asked, ignoring them all.

"No." I said truthfully.

"Are you using other means to cheat the serum?" Snape asked.

"No." I forced out.

"Why can't you state your identity?"

"I dunno."

Snape turned and whispered to Kingsley, Moody and Tonks. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the nice blissful feeling was still there, so I didn't mind.

Snape turned and whispered to Kingsley, Moody and Tonks. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the nice blissful feeling was back, so I didn't care. I didn't notice Tonks come up to me until she asked me a question.

"Where are you from?"

Before I could even think I blurted, "Virginia, America." That brought on a whole new bout of whispers. Finally Snape detached himself from the group and gave me the vial of Veritaserum.

"Drink." He ordered, and seeing as I was still in the effects of the previous dose of Veritaserum, I didn't mind at all. So I didn't argue, didn't back away, didn't groan and procrastinate. I took it and drank a bit.

Whatever feeling I had before, it doubled to the point where I didn't have a care in the world.

I smiled dreamily up at Tonks who, once again, was fighting giggles. "Do you know what this place is?" Tonks asked after she had controlled herself.

"Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix." I answered dutifully.

"How did you come by this information?" Kingsley took up the questioning.

"I read about it." I supplied eagerly, still feeling the full effects of the extra truth potion.

"Where?!" Moody exclaimed.

"In the Harry Potter books by J.K Rowling." I told him happily.

"I don't recognize J.K Rowling, and I've read all books about Harry Potter." Tonks said

absentmindedly. Everyone turned to look at her. I saw Moody raise his eyebrow at her.

"What?" She said looking at all of us.

"You've read all the books with Harry Potter in it?" Moody asked hiding his laugh.

She blushed deeply. "I was kind of a huge fan."

"Kind of?" Kingsley said.

That brought on more laughs, all except Snape of course. I laughed too, but it got awkward after everyone stopped and I was still giggling. I think I heard Snape murmuring to Moody about it being some sort of side effect of too much potion.

"I have to find this J.K Rowling." Snape announced.

He was about to walk out of the door, but before he could I felt the Veritaserum force me to say something. I sighed internally, here we go…

"It won't work." I said in a sing-song voice.

He slowly turned around. "And why not?!" He said through gritted teeth.

"Because this is a dream, she doesn't exist in my dream." I said sighing.

"You think you're in a dream?" Snape asked incredulously. I nodded confidently.

"You're an idiot."

I could feel the Veritaserum trying to work again; I felt a smirk growing. "Kind of hypocritical, aren't you?" I said truthfully.

Snape glowered and started walking towards me, but Moody put a hand on his arm.

"When does it wear off?" He chuckled. Snape didn't dignify that with an answer. As for me, I was back to giggling uncontrollable again.

After I had stopped laughing they asked me some more dumb questions. An hour later of pointless questioning and another dose of Veritaserum, my interrogators were confused, tired and unsure of what to do with me. Finally they decided to ask about their safety.

"Are you dangerous?"

Hmmm, was I dangerous? I could throw a good punch in a pinch. I also knew some juicy info on Harry Potter that might be useful to Voldy Moldy. So yeah, I guess I was dangerous.

"Yes."

That brought on more whispers and murmurings that I could not hear.

After they finished, "Will you harm us?"

Once again I was forced into unwilling speech. "Probably not. At least not to bad intentionally. I owe Sirius a knuckle sandwich though."

Tonks bit back a laugh.

"You think she's safe?" Kingsley asked Snape. Snape didn't answer him choosing instead to look deeply at me. I stared back right into his black eyes not breaking my stare before he did. That would be a sign of weakness. I would not be weak in front of Snape, I already couldn't move and my no-eye-breaking skills were pretty much all I had left.

He smiled cruelly and looked at Kingsley. "Yes, she's completely safe. Her mind is pretty straight forward."

Wait a second; did he just use Legitimacy on me? Before I could unleash the kraken on Snape, he stopped smiling and started frowning. "Although she does have a few negative ideas on certain order members."

Before anyone could ask what that meant, I jumped right in. "Did you just read my mind?!"

He smirked. "Well, I assure you I did not just read a sappy fake relationship drama starring Brandon Bates."

My mouth opened and closed several times trying to find an answer or at least a smart alecky comment to put Snape in his place. Snapes smirk kept getting wider and wider.

Then it came to me and a slow smile stretched its way across my face. I cocked my head up at Snape and widened my eyes, silently giving him an opening to read my mind.

His smirk flickered for a second in confusion, but this time I was more aware and could actually feel him riffling through my mind. I thought really hard about Lily and all the Snape memories that were in the final Potter movie. I could feel his horror and embarrassment in my head.

Before he could get the heck out of my head I focused on Snapes worse memory. The one when James Potter hung him upside down and Snape called Lily a Mudblood.

Then the connection broke. It left me gasping and Snape stumbling backwards. Moody tried to help him up but he refused it. When he recovered he looked straight at me in all seriousness.

"If you ever speak a word of what just happened…" He took a breath. "Well, you probably know what I'm capable of."

I thought back to when he was a death eater...yeah it wouldn't be good to tell.

I nodded quickly. I wasn't scared per say, but at least I had established boundaries with Snape.

Moody and the rest of the bunch looked very confused but Snape quickly led them into the corner, probably to converse about my memories. I tried to think of all the things Snape might've seen. Unfortunately I thought of quite a few of embarrassing moments in my life.

Particularly an incident involving a puppy, a clogged toilet and my cousin's boyfriend. That poor puppy. Then I re-thought that, 'Poor me.'

It was bad enough he discovered my fake relationship with Brandon Bates. After about five minutes of conversing in the corner I got bored and started testing my limits with my broken body. I didn't get far before they noticed me trying to slide off the bed.

"She needs to be healed." Kingsley confided to Snape.

He sighed, still not happy with me for knowing about him and Lily. "We should go to Dumbledore first. I'm actually surprised he didn't want to interrogate her with us."

"He had other business." Moody said gruffly.

"Still…what's more important than having a possible Bellatrix Lestrange infiltrate the Order?" Tonks asked rhetorically, leaning against the wall.

"Wait, wait…guys back up. Am I safe or not?" I asked everyone.

"Well…" Tonks trailed off. "Technically you're just very unlucky to be the doppelganger of Lestrange. But there still is the matter of how you even got into this house. It's virtually Unplottable."

"It's a mystery." I agreed. "But can't you at least heal my bones?"

"C'mon Snape." Tonks looked at him. "Were ninety percent sure that she's safe."

After a long pause he nodded.

I gave my sweetest fake smile, "Thanks Snape-y" I cooed. He glared but wordlessly waved his wand over me. I felt my bones snap together, I even heard it. I winced every time my bones rejoined.

Finally he was finished. "You might want to take it easy for a day or two." He mentioned.

Tonks handed me a vile. "This will help with the bruising." I looked down at myself. Jeez, I hadn't realized what a mess I was.

"You carry a bruising solution around in your pocket?" Kingsley snickered.

Tonks gave a sheepish smile. "Well, I do get a lot of bruises." Then she frowned. "Quite a few from that cursed umbrella stand."

This time Moody joined the snickering. I drank the solution slowly, it tasted like grapes.

"Thanks."

She nodded and began waving her wand around the room. Moody and Snape soon copied her. I looked at her confused.

"When Dumbledore comes back we can get you out of here, sorry."

She then turned and hurriedly left the room. Kinsley and Moody quickly backed out of the room too. That left Snape, who conjured me a glass of water and something that looked like bread.

"Wait, you're just going to leave me here?!" My voice raised in pitch in my outrage.

He smiled cruelly. "Obviously." I hated the way it sounded so perfect. "Oh and don't try to leave, the rooms warded."

"Wait-stop…" I reached out to grab him, but he quickly sidestepped and left the room. I waited for them to come back and tell me this was just a practical joke, but after a minute of no sounds except of a loud crash upstairs and even louder cursing that sounded suspiciously like Tonk's voice, I gave up.

"Well this sucks." I said aloud.

I considered it. It seemed fair, plus I could insult him some more. "M'kay." I said trying to get comfortable.


	3. Dumby or Dumbles or Dumbledore

**It occurs to me that there should be a disclaimer. **

Sitting in a dark room for hours on end is not a fun way to pass the time. I tried screaming and shouting, but no one paid me any mind. So I was left thinking. Which is not a good thing to do if your mind is hanging on to sanity by a thread.

I was even starting to consider that this was all real. Snape, the Order and everything else. It was so hard to wrap my mind around it, but once I did….I started to panic. Like seriously panic. Hyperventilation, nausea, crying, the whole shebang. When I stopped hyperventilating and weeping, I had a killer head ache and a strong mind to murder Snape. Who cares about the timeline?

But after several more hours to sit and stew, I calmed down enough to sleep and try to accept my situation. I was still furious about the memory thing. I mean, he knew my worst secrets, my worst memories…uhg. I stopped thinking about it.

When I did fall asleep, I was having the best dream. Sirius was in dog form but yet he still had fists. I commanded him to get Snape. Snape was standing there with an idiot dunce hat on his head. Sirius punched Snape over and over. I was ruling over them all, I was a queen. It didn't make much sense, but it was a fantastic.

I was still in euphoria mode when my dream changed. I was in a dark room sitting on a stiff armchair. It wasn't unlike the one the Order took me to interrogate me in. I looked around the room squinting, my eyes weren't adjusted yet.

"I'm over here." Stated a voice.

I whirled around looking for who had spoken, where did it come from? After a complete 360 of the room my eyes focused on a hooded figure in another armchair. The figure blended in so well the fabric.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"That is not important." The voice was deep and kind. " What's important is why you're here."

"Can I see who I'm talking to?" I asked smart-alecky . The hood went way down over the face. Kind of like the Headless Monks in Doctor Who. Oh, how I love Doctor Who. He is such-

"No, perhaps someday, but not now." The hooded man interrupted my thoughts.

"That's not very fair, is it? You can see me." I crossed my arms below my chest, but decided to drop the topic when no one answered. I looked at my surroundings. "What am I doing here?"

The hooded figure chuckled. "Why do you think?"

I made a noise in my throat. "I certainly don't know, that's why I asked you."

He chuckled again and tapped a finger to where I guessed his temple would be. "Think."

I huffed but did as he asked. "Ummm, cuz I got hit by a stupid car?"

He sighed but stayed silent.

"Cuz I have serious mental problems?"

He slowly shook his hood.

"Well I don't know!" I exclaimed throwing my hands in the air.

"Well then," He sighed. "You better figure that out."

Before I could question him the dream swirled into blackness and someone was shaking me awake.

I blinked up into a brightly lit wand. I groaned, it was too early, whatever time it was. "Go away." I turned over and buried my head into the pillow.

"C'mon, Dumbledore is here." I heard Tonks say through the muffle of the pillow.

"Dumby can wait. Sleep can't." I reasoned irrationally.

"Allow me Headmaster." I heard Snape's cold voice. I cringed and tensed for whatever was coming.

"Now, now Severus. No need for violence." Dumbledore cautioned. I still didn't turn and pretended to go back to sleep.

Tonks sighed. "My mum said I was impossible to wake up at this age too."

"She's not asleep." Snape said.

"How do you know?"

He ignored Tonks and addressed me. "For one, you would be breathing evenly. Second, if you don't get up you don't get food."

I perked up in an instant. "Where's the food?" I looked around the four people clustered around my bed. No one was carrying any food.

Snape started to snicker.

I glared and started to get up. "I swear I am going to-"

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

I looked him in the eyes. "What?!"

Snape sighed. "As much as I would like you to continue with that sentence, and I really would, the Headmaster does not have all day."

"I hate you." I said tiredly, as I yawned.

Before Snape could retaliate Dumbledore began to speak. "I am Albus Dumbledore leader of the Order of the Phoenix and Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." He held out his hand.

I stared at his hand for a moment. I shook it reluctantly. I was not an Albus Dumbledore fan, so many things wrong with his character. I mean, who leaves Harry Potter, the most famous boy in history, on a door step?

A door step.

A boy, not even two years old. A baby boy who had just lost his mommy (excuse me, mummy). A boy who could crawl away if he suddenly woke up. What if a burglar happened to walk by? What would he see? A toddler unattended that he could steal and hold for ransom.

What if the boy had appendicitis during the night? No one would even know.

But that's not the only thing. Dumbledore knew about Petunia and her jealousy for her sister, why did he leave her Harry Potter with someone who hated magic? But it doesn't end there, McGonagall also warned him of the Dursleys.

Over 17 years you would think that Dumbledore would get some inkling that there was something wrong with the Dursleys and Harry was getting abused. But nooooo, Harry has to stay because of some stupid blood ward.

Annnnnd what about during Potters school years? Slytherin deserved the house cup the first year. I mean, was it Slytherins fault that three first year students broke into a "secure" chamber that adults had failed to ward heavily enough? No it was the teachers fault.

Was it Potters fault that Voldemort was practically hired to be his defense teacher? No, it was little old Dumbles.

Was it Potters fault that he hired an idiot Lockhart? No, but I don't really blame Dumbledore either, I let this one slide.

There were plenty of things wrong with Dumbledore, I guess there was plenty of things right (I mean he was awesome enough to figure out the whole Harry horcrux death thing), but I wasn't one for optimism.

So I shook his hand reluctantly.

"And you are?" He inquired kindly. Why did he have to sound so kind?! I'm trying to hate him.

I opened my mouth to say my name, but just like before with the veritaserum something was blocking my throat. I tried forcing my name out again, but I couldn't breathe. Why couldn't I speak? What was wrong with my name?!

I looked helplessly at Dumbledore.

He nodded in understanding.

"Do you know how you got here?" He asked.

I nodded finally able to speak. "I was taking cousin and younger sibling trick-or-treating. Then I got hit by a car and I BOOM, I'm in Grimmauld Place."

"Trick or treating. Young lady, do you know what date it is?"

I thought about it for a minute. My eyes widened in horror. The fifth book was based in the 90's.'95 or '96, I was from 2013. Oh crap. Holy, holy crap. I put my head in my hands.

"It was October. October 31st. 2013." I said shakily. Time travel too? What'll happen next?

"Well, welcome to August 1985." He said piteously.

"Can you get me back?" I hated myself for asking. I didn't really expect a positive answer; none of the fanfics ever had one.

"I don't know," He stroked his beard. Did he seriously just do that? "I will have to do some research; I do believe I can do something about this."

"So," I swallowed. "I guess you don't think I'm Bellatrix Lestrange."

"No, I never thought that. Severus destroyed any doubts I had when he spoke of your memories."

I moaned and closed my eyes. "Tell me you know nothing of a puppy, and toilet and a guy?"

He chuckled in surprise. "What?"

I finally gave Snape a glance of approval. "Good."

"But," Dumbledore was still stroking his beard, hysterical! "We still don't know what to do with you. You know a lot of information that could help twist the future to our benefit."

Wait…" I stopped him. "You actually want to prevent the future? Not, like lock me up in a box until I find a way back so I don't affect stuff?"

He looked confused. "Why would I do that? Not only is it inhumane, but after so many defeats I think it would be best if we do our best to prevent any future defeats and deaths."

"Reeeally?" I asked skeptically.

He sighed. "Severus already saw enough of the future. It's best if we prevent as much as possible."

"I think were both aware of how much Snape knows, but the question is, how much do you know?" I huffed.

"Pretty much nothing." He laughed.

"Wait, so how do I warn you for…things?" I said thinking of his death, coincidently by Snape. I wonder if Snape wandered across that thought. Probably not, it wasn't something I thought about often, and Snape probably would have warned Dumbledore already.

"Well…that's up to you." He said somberly.

"Wait, I have to use my judgment to tell you something hugely important that could affect the whole world?!"I asked outraged. I could destroy the world, I could die. I could feel myself start to panic again.

I am so very sorry, my dear."

I stared at him. His face had several serious lines etched into his face. He was completely serious. Oh man, how I hated Dumbledore at the moment.

"This is so messed up."

"You're preaching to the choir." Tonks suddenly said.

I lifted my head and started to giggle. Maybe it was just the image of me preaching to a chorus group, but it was funny. And you know how giggles go, they turn into snorting and then into loud laughter. I guess we all needed a laugh. Everyone but Snape, obviously.

I wiped the happy tears from my eyes and started to calm down. "Professor, what am I going to do?" I asked, unknowingly calling him Professor.

"After much consoling and cajoling we've managed to convince Sirius Black that you are not his cousin. He sends his deepest apologies and grants you full access to his house. I have other plans forming in the back of my head for you, but at the moment it is best if you stay here. Were busy at the moment of another endeavor."

I thought about this for the moment. "Were in Harry Potters fifth year, right?"

b"Yes."

"Has he been convicted of under-age magic yet?"

He nodded.

"Are you going to get him from the Dursley's?"

"Yes, tonight in fact."

"He's mad that he's been out of the loop all summer, you know that right?"

Dumbledore sighed again. "I figured as much. It's for his own good."

He moved towards the door, Snape following dutifully. I tried to imagine Snape as a puppy, a Labrador. It took a lot of willpower to not laugh. Right before Dumbledore went through the door he turned.

"Miss Tonks will fill you in on the rest of your information on your stay at Grimmauld place. I'm sorry to leave you so suddenly but I have to get to an Order meeting." And he left with Snape following behind.

Moody cleared his throat and mumbled something about paper work and also left.

"Well," Tonks said swinging her hands. "We better get you settled. Uh, what's you name?" She asked with a grin.

I gave her a dirty look.

"I know." She laughed. "But we have to call you something."

"What do you suggest?" I asked dryly.

"Hmmm, well anything's better than Nymphadora." She laughed.

**Names anyone? **


	4. I am SOOO sorry

Sooo, I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, but I break my promises to myself pretty easily.

Send in names. Please.

Names that may be funny, like Bambi or Chrysanthemum. Send in short nicknames like jester or Wednesday. I have only gotten one name and I do like it, but I would like to get an overall opinion.

All in favor of SKYLAR. Or All in favor of names like Chrysanthemum. Y'know, I actually like that one.

SEND IN NAMES.

I am going to TRY not to do another single authors note without a chapter.

So, you all sent in names like I asked. Some of them I do not understand. For example, Mycaruba. How did you think it up? Not that I don't like it, I like all suggestions. But could you tell me how you got it?

I think I will set up a poll. BUUUUT, I will wait at least a day so yall can send in the names.

SO I broke my previous promise. But really, who cares?

_**My poll is up. Come and pick please. **_

_**Lovely choices, lovely. Pick my pretties, pick!**_

_**-Frowning Cheshire Cat**_


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